For young people
How do I figure out who I really am?
Knowing who you are comes from noticing what you value, how you react when things get hard and who you are when no one is watching. It isn't something you arrive at once; you keep building it.
Three things to know about yourself
- Your values: not what you say you value, but what shows up when you're tired or it would be easier not to.
- Your patterns: how you react to pressure, failure, comparison and uncertainty.
- That you can change: patterns aren't permanent.
Give this a go: your personal philosophy
- Answer three honest questions. How do you want people to describe you when you're not in the room? What qualities show up when you're at your best? What do you want to fall back on when things get hard?
- Choose three to five words that feel like you, and write one sentence for each about what it looks like day to day.
You don't do it alone
The strongest people aren't the most isolated. Other people help you see yourself more clearly.
From Chapter 12, "The Strongest People Know Their Inner Self".
Quick answers
Is it normal to feel like a different person in different groups?
Yes. Your inner self is what stays underneath those versions of you.
Related questions
Why people trust Start Where You Are
- Written by Ash Manuel, a former PE teacher and founder of Growing With Gratitude, which has reached more than 1 million young people across 1,205 schools in 80 countries.
- Foreword by Dr Phil Cummins of the University of Sydney and the Sydney Character Initiative.
- Shaped by conversations with young people about what they actually wanted from a book like this.
- Published by Amba Press and featured on 9News Adelaide.